What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
