you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
