I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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