Kiss
Puke
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
