what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
