this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
