you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
