He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize