it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
