I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
