One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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