I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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