My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize