Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
