It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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