So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize