The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize