her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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