eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
