Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize