I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
