smell my finger.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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