A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Someone shattered a urinal.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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