New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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