this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You made out with two different species that night
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
