did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
