defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
