It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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