The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
