I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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