How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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