No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize