Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
