I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i barfeds in our rink
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
