He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
