He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
