Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
