I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
