After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
