I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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