doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
