How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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