Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize