After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
