If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Randomize
