so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
where am i from again
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
