I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
