4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
