She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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