Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
