Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
