I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
