Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We are all done wearing pants today
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
