Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
