its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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