Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
