so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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