Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
